Mushfaking- I Know What I'm Wining About

According to James Gee, the term mushfake was coined in prison to describe “making do with less when the real thing is not available.” It’s possible that the very first mushfake was toilet wine. And coincidentally one of the most mushfaked discourses in the world is that of the wine aficionado.  When two meet in the wild you can almost hear the voice of Sir David Attenborough in the background. “Ahh, now here we have two of natures more marvelous creatures. See how they approach each slowly and engage in conversation. The dominant female has started by commenting on the time that she visited the Rhone Valley. But see how the upstart challenges this by stating he’s never really cared for syrah ( indicating his knowledge of the region) but that he much prefers an Anderson Valley Pinot Noir when choosing a distinguished red with a low tannin base. This back and forth will continue until they determine the proper hierarchy. At least for this encounter. For the world of wine is deep.” 

     When I went to work for Duckhorn Wine Company in St. Helena in the Napa Valley as a Harvest Intern, I had just about no idea what went into making wine. All I knew was that I was looking for a change of pace.  I quickly found that in production, one doesn’t need much knowledge at all. The saying goes “It takes a lot of good beer to make good wine.” Meaning everyone in the cellar drinks Coronas or Tecate at home. But it’s quite a lot different when meeting anyone else in the industry. According to James Paul Gee “A discourse is a sort of ‘identity kit’ which comes complete with the appropriate costume and instructions on how to act talk and often write, so as to take on a particular role that other will recognize.” The appropriate costume for discussing wine in Napa took me by surprise. It’s not the formal wear that one might think of but actually a plaid shirt and jeans. Yes even and especially for the women. This is the clothing of the winemakers and viticulturists, often jokingly referred to as the Napa Uniform.

     When I first met Katie, the other harvest intern, I had assumed that she would be like myself, fairly new to wine. However she started asking me what my favorite appellation in Napa is, I only knew two off the top of my head and so just picked one at random, Stags Leap because it has the coolest name. She frowned and said it was strange that I’d be working at Duckhorn  all the way up in St. Helena in that case. O well I’m a huge fan of their Three Palms Vineyard Merlot. What are my other favorite vineyards? Uhoh, Renee, the head winemaker had just come back from looking at some Rector Creek grapes so of course that was my other favorite. After a few minutes of what felt like a boxing match, she told me that she didn’t think she’d find anyone else in a cellar who really knew wine and that we should go tasting together sometime. I passed! And immediately went to youtube to continue the mushfakery.